Competition ... the good, the bad and the ugly!

I am a sore loser.  Although I don't like to admit it too often, I am super competetive.  I am competitive against other people and MOST competitive against myself.  I HATE when I finish a race feeling defeated, like I could have done better, pushed harder.  Likewise I LOVE the rush of crossing the finish line knowing I did the best I could. 

Yesterday I ran a race with a good friend who I have done a number of races with.  We are pretty similar runners, although she has been running much longer than I.  Sometimes she finishes first, sometimes I finish first ... though for the past year or so of racing she has kicked my butt.  It's hard to watch her pass me and not be able to catch her!  On the flipside, we started the race together and she paced us at a much faster speed than I would have done on my own .. I ended up finishing the race in much better time than I had anticipated and that was a good thing!  It's awesome to have someone who shares competitive enthusiasm and pushes you to try to your best. (Huge bummer that the top three women's finishers received sweet prize baskets ... guess who came in 4th! grrr.)

My racing buddy Brooke ... she pushes me and I love her for it!
Congrats on 2nd place!!

It was even somewhat hard to see my brother beat me in the first half marathon we raced together last summer.  Of course I was thrilled for him and incredibly proud of his accomplishment -- but that little red devil crouched on my shoulder kept poking at me, questioning why I hadn't been able to keep up with him?? I had, afterall, more races under my belt, including a half marathon.  It wasn't just sibling rivalry at work in that race ... my race pace was disappointingly slower than the goal I'd set and I finished only slightly better than in my previous (and much more difficult) half marathon. I felt like I'd also lost the race with myself.  Sore loser x 2.  (**It wasn't all pouty face and poor attitude though, I promise ... it was so fun to run a beautiful and invigorating race with my sweet little bro ... I can't wait for a rematch next summer!)

My competitiveness doesn't rule every run.  I don't always track my times and pace.  There are many runs where I just run to run.  And I have to admit, those days are awesome.  I recently read an inspiring post from an old friend who put all training and over-thinking aside and just sprinted her care-free self right out the door for an invigorating, no-expectations run.  Balance is the key.

Competitiveness leads to goals ---> goals force us to step it up and try new approaches ---> trying new things keeps us from getting bored --- > preventing boredom keeps us RUNNING!

I have been taking mental notes of my times lately and am becoming more and more frustrated that I can't seem to keep up with the times I used to clock.  Running used to seem easier.  I used to have better lungs, stronger legs.  I know our minds often embellish the past, elevating the good memories and censoring the less-than-terrific times.  I'm sure there were plenty of awkward, slow, and/or painful runs that I am choosing to forget!  My wavering speed has been a festering sore spot that's only grown more painful with recent races. Time to put my big girl pants on, quit making excuses and do something about it! I'm ready to do what it takes to get back to not only where I was ... but better.  I know that despite valleys in my running abilities I will hit some breath-taking peaks again.  I am certain the competitor inside of me won't let me stop until I do!

"Live daringly, boldy, fearlessly. 

Taste the relish to be found in competition -

in having put forth the best within you."

- Henry J Kaiser