In A Fog

It's not very often lately that I wake up and think "I really, really want to go run."  For some reason today, I woke up early, looked out at the unseasonably foggy morning and something just beckoned me.  I'm good at hem-hawing around and taking forever to push myself out the door, but not today.  I grabbed the first mismatched running clothes I found in the closet, laced up my shoes, put my hair up in the sloppiest ponytail ever and ran out the door.  No watch, no ipod, no real plan but to run. 

While I have been doing an awful lot of complaining lately about the relentless cool, wet weather this Spring, I am thankful for this morning.  The early morning sun was a blurry ball up in the sky trying its best to break through the thick haze. The dewiness everywhere felt refreshing.  The green surrounding me was some of the deepest green I've ever seen.  There was an enveloping sense of calm out there today and I am so glad I was able to quietly run through it, collecting my thoughts.

Today the fog inspired me (odd as it sounds.)  And as I ran through it, I thought about how uninspired I've been to run lately.  As I settled into my stride I started to mentally list all the things that have inspired me in the past:

• People who've beat the odds just to run again.  I remember reading the story of Matt Long years ago and more recently the story of Eric Cornell.  If these guys can overcome such crazy obstacles, surely my able-bodied self can get out there and run a bit.  Or A LOT!
• Anger. Yeah, this one's a doozy.  But sometimes anger or stress over something compels me to run ... and in return adrenaline and endorphins take over, my mind becomes more at ease and problems seems smaller and more approachable.  There's a quote that goes something like "Running is cheaper than therapy."  I whole-heartedly agree.  
• All YOU people out there who run ... old junior high friends, old high school friends, old college friends, my mommy friends and neighbors ... and of-course my family: brothers, brother-in-laws, sister-in-laws, etc. etc.  Running has become popular and that's GREAT.   I love being surrounded by people who run.  Especially those who are just getting the "bug" and are beaming with accomplishment. 




Women's Fitness Celebration '08

• My health.  I'm the first to admit I am not consistent with eating well or exercising.  But I do try.  I enjoy expanding my knowledge about health, nutrition and fitness.  Running seems to be my one go-to activity that I can always count on to keep me feeling alive and healthy.  I feel like a better me when I run.
• My children.  I think it's important to be a healthy role model for my kids. Running has provided opportunities for us all to be more active as a family ... they ride their bikes while I run and more recently my oldest has run with me.  I want them to grow up in a health-conscious home.  They know mommy runs and they know daddy's favorite food is salad.  Haha. They ALSO know that dessert is FANTASTIC and moderation and balance is key.  I want my children to love running (though I know that will be ultimately up to them.)  So I keep running in hopes we'll all run together someday!




Running the Turkey Trot with my son

• My husband.  He motivates me in so many ways.  He made a commitment to a healthy lifestyle a few years ago and his transformation and dedication is remarkable.  He's done it all himself ... the research, the training, the nutrition.  Even with knee surgery and the inability to do some activities, he stays in amazing shape.  He's one hot 40 year old.  And so of course I want to do my part to stay active too! 
• The next big race.  Races always motivate and inspire me to keep at it!  I don't have any definite races on the horizon. (insert sad face) Travel makes it hard to commit to races in the summer ... and the kids sporting activities every Saturday in the Fall make it nearly impossible to commit to races in that season.  I've been pouring over calendars for the Idaho/Nevada/Utah area and I think I have a few dates that are going to work, fingers crossed.  
• This blog.  I enjoy writing.  I enjoy running.  I would really like to keep this blog alive and current.  It has, in the past, compelled me to run.  I think about things I'd like to write about while I run -- and my runs also provide content for my posts.  You can't have a blog about running without a runner.  I don't want to, after all, just be "Wicked!" 

All the things that have inspired me in the past still inspire me today, as long as I listen and don't resist.  Instead of feeling like just another monumental chore on my endless to-do-list, today the idea of running felt simple and easy.  Maybe the break has been good for me, a chance to organize my thoughts, examine my goals, make some plans ... and come out of that fog.  

Whole Living

I don't have a subscription (yet!) to Whole Living magazine, but everytime I pick up a copy at the store, I am impressed and inspired by the content.  Yesterday as I relaxed in my chair by the window, sunlight streaming in, I was particularly inspired by this collection of thoughts:

Points to Ponder!

*~* Happy Friday!!! *~*

These are a few of my favorite things ...

There is so much *stuff* out there for running gear, sometimes it can be hard to know where to even start.  I often struggle with knowing what apparel is worth the extra money and likewise, when the cheapest option will be just as good as the most expensive.  I'm not an expert, but I have "tested" a variety of items and brands.  Even though my closet is full of running shorts, capris, pants, tanks, bras, jackets, etc., I find myself opting for the same things over and over.  Here are some of my ol' standby's ...



Moisture-wicking wonders!

Lean and green! (Also available in other more muted colors!)

  

You've gotta have socks you love.  And for everyone, like shoes, it seems to be a pretty personal thing.  I have tried a lot of different socks ... from the expensive running store mortgage-your-house-for-one-pair-of-socks brands ... all the way to cheapie discount-store variety.  The socks I have been running in for the longest are Energy Zone (Shopko's brand.)  They are cushiony and wick moisture like you wouldn't believe.  They are amazing AND cheap, so stock up!  A more recent addition to my sock drawer has been the ultra-lightweight Nike running sock shown above in screaming neon-green.  They are so great you hardly know you are wearing socks. The tabs keep your feet from chafing and while I'm usually not one for bright, attention-getting socks, this green just seems to put a smile on my face and an extra spring in my step!  



Perfect in every way!

I love, love, love these Under Armour running shorts.  You know how it is when you find something that works, it fits in all the right places and makes you want to run for hundreds of miles ... ok, maybe that's a bit of a stretch!  But really, these shorts are just awesome.  Had I known they'd be so hard to find again, I would have bought 10 pair.  They have enough room in the leg that movement is not an issue.  They are a perfect length and the material is soft and breathable.  **Important note:  For me, black is the ONLY way to go.  I learned the hard way that gray, or even purple shorts/pants are not a great option for the gym ... unless of course you are going for the just-peed-my-pants look.  TMI perhaps, but really, if you are going to spend the money on nice workout clothes, you want them to be functional.  And if you sweat at all, or A LOT, like me ... well then, black is definitely the most functional!

Champion running capri's ... they just fit right!

I have a gazillion pairs of capri running pants in my closet and I always go back to my favorite Champion running capri's I bought years ago at Target.  They fit better than any other pair (even the more expensive Nike's and Under Armors.)  They fit particularly well in the abdominal area, with minimal mommy bulge spilling over.  I'm not sure why this particular capri makes me so happy, but it's always nice to have one pair of pants you feel like you can run in public in!

Industrial Strength ... cause let's be honest girls, bounce is not always a good thing!

If you're a girl, ya gotta have one of these.  While some are lucky enough to get away with those adorable wispy little demi-cup options ... I need a bra that's practically a shirt!  This Under Armour sports bra has the high impact support other sports bra's only talk about.  Really ... it's a keeper!  For more low impact activities, I've found this Fila sports bra works well, and I love the color.  And don't be afraid to double up if you need to ... seriously why add to the stretch mark issue if you don't have to!

Maximum airflow and comfort!



I have a few different versions of the Nike running tank and they have become my first choice for running.  I find the singlet-style much less constricting than the tanks with a built-in support. I have even recently branched out and purchased a few *gasp* PINK versions of this tank ... so girly!

So worth the money!

This North Face jacket has seen me through all types of weather.  It is light enough that I can add heavier layers underneath in the winter and light enough to wear with just a tank underneath in fall and spring.  It's incredibly lightweight, wind-resistant, and reflective.  I love the long sleeves you can pull down over your hands if they get cold and/or you forget your gloves.  It has two zipper pockets for carrying necessities.  If you tie it around your waist, it's so light you don't even know it's there (I HATE running with anything around my waist, but you really do barely notice it).)  It always comes out of the wash looking brand new and it has held up remarkably well to all the training I've put it through.    

So those are some of my favorites.  I know running clothes, just like any clothes, are very much a personal thing.  But perhaps these recommendations will send someone in the right direction, ultimately leading to less money wasted on gear that is less-than-fantastic.  I also want to note that I am a pretty cheap person when it comes to buying stuff for myself.  I love sales, I love bargains.  I think $45 for a pair of shorts is ridiculous.  Sometimes dropping the money for some of these items is painful .. BUT, I do invest the money in something if I think it is high-quality.  All of my faves, in my opinion, have been well worth the money.  And even better is when I find something I love for dirt cheap ... so, if anyone has any great bargains or finds, please share!!!

Life lessons and motherly worries ...

Yesterday we attended the funeral for Eric's grandmother and my childrens' "Grandma Great."  While I cannot say I was lucky enough to have a super-close relationship with her, I can say, without a doubt, she is a woman to be admired and one who will certainly be remembered.

"Grandma Great" ... and yes, she was pretty darn great!

It was quite amazing to sit in the church watching the hundreds of family members who had gathered to celebrate her life.  Gladys and her sweetheart Roy had 8 children of their own ... who went on to have 54 grandchidren ... who went on to have 133 great-grandchildren. Wow.

There was a great deal of love to be felt.  And while you will rarely see me cry in public, or show much emotion for that matter, I was moved.  It's quite inspiring to be part of such a large family ... craziness and idiosyncrasies included!  I think Gladys would have been thrilled with all the loving things people said about her ... memories of her grandchildren eating strawberries in her garden, memories of her and her husband always trying to do nice things for each other, memories of her being genuinely interested in ALL of her family members and trying to teach them whenever possible.  She was a talented artist, a wonderful cook and my favorite part ... she was BLUNT!  Yay Gladys for not being afraid to tell it like it is!

I think the death of someone always leads us evaluate our own lives.  What will be my legacy?  What will my children (and *hopefully* grandchildren) remember about me?  I thought a great deal about this yesterday and today ... and it goes hand-in-hand with the other thoughts about motherhood that have been circling my head recently. 

I cannot stop thinking about the fact that you only get ONE CHANCE to raise your children.  What a scary thing.  I'm not sure why all of the sudden it's so worrisome to me.  I know that no one is perfect.  Parenting is trial and error -- it's impossible to get it 100% right, 100% of the time.

I enjoy watching my children learn.  My heart melts over their excitement at each new discovery.  They are growing so fast and I love each one for their unique personalities, talents and quirks.  It is the difficult questions that have been recently keeping me awake for hours at night ...

• Am I protecting my children enough, but at the same time allowing them to grow into resilient, confident adults?
• Are they growing up spoiled?  Do they have an appreciation for all that they have?
• Are their sibling connections strong? There are days it seems like all they do is fight with one another.
• Do I hover too much ... am I enabling their bad habits?
• Am I teaching them all the things I think are most important in life? Am I giving them the tools they need to be successful adults?  Do they know what hard work is?  Do they understand why it's important?
• Am I scarring them for life when I lose my cool and yell at them (yes, I can admit I YELL, sometimes often) -- over things that later seem pretty minor?
• Will my children be members of a generation we hear so much about ... coddled, self-absorbed, presumptuous brats who expect it all?
• Do they get enough fresh air?  Are they reading enough? Do they eat too much sugar?  Am I bad for not enforcing regular teeth flossing?  Will they really pay later for me allowing them to get "a little color" before dousing them in sunscreen? The list goes on and on ..!!!

So, I guess I am asking myself, "What's the next step?"  I will always worry, no doubt.  But how do I tackle some of these questions in a tangible way?  Gladys raised 8 children ... how did she do it?  My own talented mother worked full-time, cleaned like a mad-woman, cooked amazing meals, kept my brother and I involved in extra-curricular activities and spent a lot of quality time with us.  How did she juggle it all so well?  I am going to take a hard look at the above list and write down one action for each "worry."  I will try to focus on those actions for a couple of weeks and see if it helps me feel more at ease.  For instance, with regards to the whole losing-my-temper situation, I am going to use the ol' take a deep breath and count to 10 trick.  I don't want my kids to have bad tempers, to not be able to handle stressful situations ... and I am committed to being a better model of cool, collected behavior.  OK ... so there's Goal One.  Yay!  One less thing to worry about in bed tonight.  **More updates to come!**

In the meantime ... you can read about beautiful, spunky Gladys here.   Today I am thankful for the small part I played in her life and the larger-than-life lessons I gained in return.
 
** One more thing ... I've definitely been more "wicked" than "runner" of late ... I desperately need to get back into the swing of things.  I'm mapping out my summer ... including how I'm going to fit workouts in and potential races I'm going to run.  More on that later ...

I ♥ dead bugs!

One of my favorite ab workouts ... you feel like a dead bug after.  Do as many reps as your abs will allow ... then do three more! :)

Competition ... the good, the bad and the ugly!

I am a sore loser.  Although I don't like to admit it too often, I am super competetive.  I am competitive against other people and MOST competitive against myself.  I HATE when I finish a race feeling defeated, like I could have done better, pushed harder.  Likewise I LOVE the rush of crossing the finish line knowing I did the best I could. 

Yesterday I ran a race with a good friend who I have done a number of races with.  We are pretty similar runners, although she has been running much longer than I.  Sometimes she finishes first, sometimes I finish first ... though for the past year or so of racing she has kicked my butt.  It's hard to watch her pass me and not be able to catch her!  On the flipside, we started the race together and she paced us at a much faster speed than I would have done on my own .. I ended up finishing the race in much better time than I had anticipated and that was a good thing!  It's awesome to have someone who shares competitive enthusiasm and pushes you to try to your best. (Huge bummer that the top three women's finishers received sweet prize baskets ... guess who came in 4th! grrr.)

My racing buddy Brooke ... she pushes me and I love her for it!
Congrats on 2nd place!!

It was even somewhat hard to see my brother beat me in the first half marathon we raced together last summer.  Of course I was thrilled for him and incredibly proud of his accomplishment -- but that little red devil crouched on my shoulder kept poking at me, questioning why I hadn't been able to keep up with him?? I had, afterall, more races under my belt, including a half marathon.  It wasn't just sibling rivalry at work in that race ... my race pace was disappointingly slower than the goal I'd set and I finished only slightly better than in my previous (and much more difficult) half marathon. I felt like I'd also lost the race with myself.  Sore loser x 2.  (**It wasn't all pouty face and poor attitude though, I promise ... it was so fun to run a beautiful and invigorating race with my sweet little bro ... I can't wait for a rematch next summer!)

My competitiveness doesn't rule every run.  I don't always track my times and pace.  There are many runs where I just run to run.  And I have to admit, those days are awesome.  I recently read an inspiring post from an old friend who put all training and over-thinking aside and just sprinted her care-free self right out the door for an invigorating, no-expectations run.  Balance is the key.

Competitiveness leads to goals ---> goals force us to step it up and try new approaches ---> trying new things keeps us from getting bored --- > preventing boredom keeps us RUNNING!

I have been taking mental notes of my times lately and am becoming more and more frustrated that I can't seem to keep up with the times I used to clock.  Running used to seem easier.  I used to have better lungs, stronger legs.  I know our minds often embellish the past, elevating the good memories and censoring the less-than-terrific times.  I'm sure there were plenty of awkward, slow, and/or painful runs that I am choosing to forget!  My wavering speed has been a festering sore spot that's only grown more painful with recent races. Time to put my big girl pants on, quit making excuses and do something about it! I'm ready to do what it takes to get back to not only where I was ... but better.  I know that despite valleys in my running abilities I will hit some breath-taking peaks again.  I am certain the competitor inside of me won't let me stop until I do!

"Live daringly, boldy, fearlessly. 

Taste the relish to be found in competition -

in having put forth the best within you."

- Henry J Kaiser